Things are slowly becoming more prominent in the journey to Germany. Lately we have been checking things off the "Do before we leave" list. our countdown in now at 85 days to report date. Wow. We receive his orders next week, the ones with my name included. I turned in my passport application, the one that will get me to the base. Now, all we have to do is sit and wait until it comes back.
I have begun to look around and think about growing up here in Colorado Springs, I had always wanted to marry into the military, see something new. Well, I knew it was a way to become comfortable with change. I never in a million years knew that I would and I would actually have to force myself into. I hate change... the slightest change to certain aspects of my life will just throw me off, not stuff like they discontinued my favorite Starbucks drink sort of things. I realize that in the years I talked with my best friend about wanting to leave CO and move somewhere new, somewhere different, That I have actually created a completely comfortable cave like life here in the Springs. I am terrified of having to say good-bye and begin to place roots elsewhere. The thing is that I know that I have to allow God to decide on where and how my family will grow. I know that what ever happens will be for the best. The question I face is " Have I gone too far to find sanctity in my dreams? Should Bryce and I have started with a simple move across a few states before completely diving into a new country?" I am nervous that once I arrive I wont actually reach out to find friends, I won't want to try to meet people. I am trying so hard to learn about all the family member opportunities on base so I won't have an excuse to not try but, will I go? I look at the time that is left here in the good 'ol USA, there is not much. We have to BE THERE in 85 days, which mean we could leave in 75 or 80. Wow, that is less then 3 months. If it was up to me I would stay until 4 days prior. That is not up to me. That is up to a man in Family Travel. A man that does not care if my best friend is getting married on the 3rd of August, a man that does not care that my birthday is the 5th of August, a man that does not care that my Grandmother would like to attend a family reunion at the end of July, a man that does not care when my Parent-in laws plan to return from vacation. He holds the unknown. His job... to get us there when the time is convenient for the Army. Will I be ok with that? I guess I don't have a choice. It is not that man's fault, how would he be getting anything done if he worked around everything that everyone wanted? I begin to teeter thoughts in my mind, how much will I miss in three years? Will my friends remember me, are they still going to talk to me? What can change while I am gone? What will they miss? All I can do is thank God for the amazing people in my life her in Colorado Springs and pray that they, and me, will forever hold each to our friendship.
I guess that it is time for me to branch out, to truly become me. The U.S. Army has become my family, everyone learns to depend on each other, because only then we will make it through alive.
I have begun to pick back up the amazing German language. The Army has provide an amazing learning program online, it is free and I can learn many languages. It might help to take a few units in each as Bryce and I want to travel. I actually remember a decent amount considering. The program is directed toward tourists, with important saying you should know. The challenge I believe in this situation will be getting Bryce to start taking it, I think he believes that I will be his translator. Nope, not going to happen. Haha. I defiantly will needing flash cards... The one I am struggling with is " das Amerikanische Konsulat" It is the american consulate, pronounced das Ameri-kaan-ish-a Con-sue-lot. Now try to say it 10x fast... haha.. Luckily, I had a teacher who taught us how to build sentences correctly.
Well, that is all for today, I have to head back to the grindstone on this learning, and retaining, German thing...Tschuss!
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